Sometimes, I admit, I get caught up with the Lifetime movies. When I was younger, I used to tease my mother about watching those movies on the "Crying Channel", as we would call it. But, now, as a woman, myself, I catch myself getting drawn in to so many of those movies. Their slogan, "My movies. My LifeTime", is definitely on point.
One movie I identified with was, "The Stranger Beside Me". It is a 1995 made for television movie that stars Tiffani Amber Thiessen as a young newlywed who suspects that her charming husband is not as charming or innocent as he seems. As I watched, it amazed me how I was in a similar situation in my marriage. No, my ex husband never blatantly TOLD me of his actions and the women he had been with. No, he never raped any of those women (that I know of). But, with every red flag that the young lady began to notice it was a haunting reminder. And with every moment of the husband's character going from pleasant and loving to insanely mad or insanely jealous, a tear would find it's way to the corner of my eye. I couldn't believe it. I had truly lived that story, that nightmare. And I'm so thankful that God brought me out!
I know that not everyone will understand. I know that not everyone will support my decision to leave. But, I'm thankful that I serve a mighty and forgiving God! Yes, I made the mistake of saying yes to a man who I believed was my knight in shining armor. But, as P. B. Wilson stated in her book, "Knight in Shining Armor", I didn't look at the back side. The front was all shined up and polished. But, the backside wasn't even formed. Basically, he was good at putting on a good front. He was a great chameleon. He was a great actor. But, the man that I fell in love with was not the man that I was married to. He was definitely "The Stranger Beside Me" and I was "Sleeping With The Enemy".
As I continue to write my book about my story, I'm thankful to God for the insight that he continues to give me. I'm thankful how God continues to embrace me and show me that He loves me and that everything will be alright. Most of all, I'm praying that my story will be able to help someone else. Sadly, it seems that Sex Addiction is more of a reality than any of us would like to face. But, my story is a testimony of a spouse who had to face it and eventually learn that I couldn't "save him", he needed God to do that. I had to step away from the "dance". Sexual Addiction is very real. And unless it's dealt with in a real way it can be very damaging and destructive to all involved.